A letter to my female peers // Verbal Spill

2 November 2016

We are a small school, and yet there are people hypothetically reading this letter that I have never even said hello to in nearly five years. Hello.

When I came to this high school there was suddenly this whole new world where the concept of popularity could possibly exist, because we all watched Mean Girls, which seemed to make sense to us at the time. That was our bible. We did not realise at the time that the groups that we naturally spread into did not actually exist because god pushed certain people together or because they were pretty or intelligent and there certainly is not a social hierarchy in terms of any of those things. We are all students. We are all teenagers. We are all girls. In this year group, there is a definite divide in our heads between each other because we have all formed these ideas of what the other groups of people are like.

You do not have to conform to your stereotype. We are not divided by an American clique system, we are not split into "nerds", "plastics", "drama gays" or "try-hards". We do not need to look down on each other because we perceive the other person to be something that, in reality, they are not. Within my friendship group, I have come across many different perspectives on the other people that we go to lessons with every day. I have encountered envy, hatred, disapproval and awe, all on people that we don’t actually know, people that we converse with once every month, how can we possibly say we are justified in our opinions? How can we possibly say that we know someone when all we see are each-others masks? How can we possibly say we understand someone when we don’t know about the horrific secrets that they keep hidden and tear them up every day? Their hopes, their dreams, their aspirations, their happiest memories, their most painful heart break, the funerals they won’t forget or the songs they listen to when they cry? We do not know each other. But what I know is that we are the same.  We should certainly not feel threatened by each other and we should definitely not be making snap judgements on people that we don’t even know.

We are all female here. I know that I sometimes feel like I need to be one type of girl: a smart girl, a pretty girl, a tomboy, a hipster, a feminist. I’ve discovered something recently. Beyond the realms of television and pre-teen, Zoella-approved novels, us girls do not conform to the stereotypes. I spent my childhood aching to be the pretty girl, I would have given up my intelligence and opinion just to be pretty. I thought that I could not be both. I realise now that I was wrong. I realise now that we are merely people, endeavouring on a journey of self-discovery and gender should not come into that, the label of “female” should not dictate who we are because we are so much more complex than the stereotypes. I still see girls throwing away everything that makes them who they are on being someone that boys will find attractive, trying to fit into the unrealistic shape of a certain stereotype. I beg of all of you, don’t let that be what you aspire to. Aspire to be the journalists, the politicians, the activists, the mothers, the lawyers, the head teachers and the students of the future that make a difference to the world. Aspire to find the life you want, not the person that you think you need to be to find love, when the right boy comes around, he will love you for who you really are.

Furthermore, don’t allow yourself to be the girl that tears another girl down because she is pretty or smart and you don’t feel confident in yourself. Many studies show that successful and happy people do not place blame of their failures on others, they get up and they try again and then they pick the people up that fall behind them. Don’t allow yourself to be the girl that feels the need to push others down to reach the top. Let’s help each other up. As the brilliant Michelle Obama said “When they go low, we go high”.


Please, lets just support each other in our final year. I know that some of us don't get along and some of us have had our disagreements in the past, but lets unite from today on-wards as a team. We are all scared. So, let's link arms and face this together.

Thank you


2 comments :

  1. This is a really great post! I completely agree that the teenage stereotypes we see in movies and TV shows are often untrue and harmful and have felt that pressure to fit perfectly into a category as well.

    -Minerva http://nerdwordblog.blogspot.com/

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    1. Thank you so much for the reply!!! It's really difficult being a teenage girl, my boyfriend called me a hipster today and I had a huge rant on how teenage girls aren't allowed to be anything without being judged really harshly for it, I think that's why we feel the need to go into a certain box or label, and so often those boxes and labels get negatively stereotyped, I named a few things we call each other at school up there because it's just so wrong

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